Resilience

Encounter a setback, recover, readjust and move forward – people who are resilient go through this process gracefully, even in the toughest life situations, and lead happier and more empowered lives. Do you want to invite more serenity into your life and bounce back easily?

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”More resistance to stress equals more personal freedom. External events no longer have such a strong (negative) impact on us, and at the same time we have more choice.
Ursula BesteEnter Serenity Coach

What exactly does being resilient mean?

According to the dictionary (Duden), resilience stands for psychological strength, the ability to overcome difficult life situations without lasting damage. Or in everyday language: fall down (encounter a setback), get up (recover), adjust your crown (readjust) and move forward!

Some people are significantly more resilient than the average person. At the same time, resilience is also situation-specific and depends in particular on a person’s life story. Someone who lost a beloved pet as a child may experience a similar loss as very painful and challenging later on. The same person, however, may have no problem performing in front of an audience and facing the risk of negative criticism. The good news is that we can increase our stress resilience, expand our comfort zone and thus evolve.

Benefits of resilience

People who are resilient

experience positive feelings more often and delight also in small things.
are more successful because they can set clear goals and then actively follow through on them.
take good care of themselves.
are better protected against mental conditions such as burnout and depression.
experience better physical health.
enjoy a higher quality of life and are more content.
experience their life as meaningful, which, by the way, is a key trait of individuals who reach a particularly advanced age.

What it does not mean:

to be naive
to stick rigidly to goals, regardless of the current situation
to think only of oneself
to be uncaring/emotionless
to have arrived at a fixed goal or to be perfect.

Bouncing back – the process in more detail

Falling down

The first step is to recognize and accept the current situation.

What position are we in and how do we feel about it? What kind of emotional reaction does this trigger in us?

We realize and acknowledge that we are out of balance internally and, depending on the situation, also externally, which means that there is a need for change. This phase also includes letting go of blame, resentment and anger, as they tie up the energy available to us or cause us to use it in an unhelpful way.

Recover

What is necessary to restore the inner and perhaps outer balance? What do we align ourselves to; that is, what are our values and goals? What pulls us down? What lifts us up and supports us? Perhaps we have been simultaneously pursuing two values or goals that contradict each other (for example, security versus freedom). Often such conflicts are also due to how we have defined the values or goals in question. Or we may have unconsciously allowed ourselves to be guided by limiting beliefs or unprocessed past experiences. Here, it is crucial to dissolve these blockages.

Realign

We seek and find clarity: “Who am I now, after these growth steps? What is important to me now? What have I learned? What new perspectives and courses of action are available to me now?” Perhaps priorities have changed. Or we may even have gained a new view of ourselves.

Move forward

How do we want to proceed? In what direction and how quickly? Perhaps a different environment would be more favorable than the current one. What are the next steps, and what do we need to be able to take them? What prevents us from taking them?

These phases do not always have to happen in exactly this order. They can also partially overlap. But all of them are necessary to master a crisis well.

Resilience and one-on-one coaching

Resilient people go through these development steps more easily and usually faster. But individual resilience can be enhanced. Experience has shown that individual coaching is particularly effective in promoting resilience. Through the right questioning techniques, you will discover your true values and goals during the coaching process. In addition, you will find out what is holding you back. These blockages can not only be dissolved with the appropriate technique but can even be transformed into inner resources. Friends and relatives surely do have the good will to assist you, but they usually lack the necessary knowledge and skills to do so.

Do you no longer want to cope with a difficult life situation (largely) alone? Would you like competent support in one or more steps to successfully master this situation? Arrange a free preliminary consultation to find out if I am the right guide and support for you on your way.

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